


On Becoming A God in Central Tokyo

by SadEyesDarkHairCantLose



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Bottom L (Death Note), Canonical Character Death, Explicit Sexual Content, L Needs a Hug (Death Note), Lemon, M/M, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, Top L (Death Note), Toxic Relationships, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, lawlight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:15:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29299506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadEyesDarkHairCantLose/pseuds/SadEyesDarkHairCantLose
Summary: Light and L wake up the morning after their explosive fight in front of Misa Amane.The tension between the two brilliant young men has come to a head, and the results of this confrontation are...unexpected.After a confusing morning, Light and L must navigate new territory as a strange new element enters their ongoing battle of wits.
Relationships: L & Yagami Light, L/Yagami Light, light - Relationship
Comments: 11
Kudos: 103





	1. Wake-up call

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello! 
> 
> This is my literal first piece of fanfic I've ever written. I would absolutely love any and all feedback! 
> 
> This is a URST story between two characters that are not canonically linked romantically, so of course there are quite a few changes to the story. That said, my attempt here was to resolve that tension in a way that feels as close to the actual story and characters as I could, given what I wanted to accomplish. There are some new scenes and a whole lot of reinterpreting existing scenes, but most of the plot remains unchanged. Ultimately what I'm saying here is don't expect a happy ending :) :)

Light wakes up at 6:45am. His routine is perfectly regimented, and he’s never needed an alarm. He is about to get out of bed when he realizes there is in fact something unusual about his current situation. He feels it before he sees it – something tickling his chin.

He looks down to see a familiar mess of jet black hair just below him. L’s head is nestled against his bare chest. Light’s breath catches in his throat. He feels the coarseness of denim pressing up against his ankles and what feels like the heel of L’s foot nestled into the arch of his own. Light starts sweating.

_I need to get him off of me right now._

He takes three deep breaths. He thanks whatever higher power will hear him that there are no security cameras in the room him and L share. He waits for the discomfort to wash over him, but it never does. Another feeling creeps up his body instead.

_My body is playing tricks on me. I do not want this. I’m experiencing some visceral confusion due to the adrenaline rush of yesterday’s fight._

L starts to stir and looks up at Light.

_Oh no. He is going to realize that I was awake and didn’t attempt to move him. What is he going to tell the Task Force? Knowing him this will somehow implicate me further in his theory that I’m Kira._

L pushes himself up and lightly hops out of bed. He tousles his hair and gently adjusts his jeans and white long-sleeved t-shirt. Light opens his mouth to speak but cannot articulate his thoughts quickly enough.

‘Light, I’m sorry that I fell asleep on top of you in such an intrusive way. I do not sleep very often and when I do, my body can behave a little…manically.’

‘It’s…it’s fine I just…’

‘I think it’s likely that thanks to our physical altercation yesterday, my body felt drawn to yours, so to speak. I’ve already addressed the fact that I consider you to be a friend, and that friendship is a new sensation for me. I didn’t intend to fall asleep in the bed, and I’m sorry.’

Light opens his mouth and shuts it quickly. He just nods and lowers his gaze. He exchanges his pajama bottoms for a pair of khaki pants and clumsily puts on a button-up shirt.

‘And not to worry – I don’t think last night had any bearing on the overall likelihood of you being Kira.’

Light blushes furiously.

_Please get out of my head._

‘I think we can just drop it Ryuzaki. Let’s meet up with everyone downstairs.’

Light does not look back as he heads down to Task Force HQ. L follows behind him, as distantly as their handcuff chain will allow.

L thinks back to the moments before. He knew that Light had been awake before he himself woke up and yet he did not make any effort to remove himself from the entanglement. Why? Could this possibly be another manipulation from Light to cast aside L’s suspicion of him as Kira? To _seduce_ him into compliance? That didn’t make any sense. Light Yagami was many things but reckless wasn’t among them. He had a brilliant mind with deductive reasoning skills matched only by L’s own. Why would he take such a wild swing when he was already doing a highly efficient job of proving his own innocence? What did he gain from it?

None of this, of course, resolved the fact that it was L himself who had nestled his body against Light’s at some point throughout the night. Light Yagami’s reaction was just that – a reaction to a scenario preempted by L. Was this just some type of bodily response to yesterday’s fight? If so, to what end? If this truly was an act of the subconscious totally unconnected to L’s own desires, why didn’t he wake up in a state of repulsion? If anything, he felt rejuvenated. Some yet undiscovered energy coursed through him and despite himself he found a clarity of mind he had been unable to attain so far throughout this investigation.

Light sat down in front of the computer next to Matsuda. L chewed on his thumb for a moment, staring at the back of his head. Perhaps this was another manipulation. If this was Light’s next gambit, L would have no choice but to counter accordingly.


	2. One Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L's accidental blunder has led to a whole new realm of competition between himself and Light. Unwilling to relent to one another, the two brilliant young men keep unwittingly raising the stakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2! This chapter is mostly just an escalation of the events of chapter 1. Enjoy!

Light’s eyelids open – 6:45am. He feels the soft fabric at the end of L’s sleeve between his thumb and forefinger and rubs it absent-mindedly. He curls himself tighter around the detective’s slender body and feels him slowly stir. This has become L’s wakeup call.

One week has passed since L first fell asleep on Light’s chest and the situation has spiraled outside of Light’s control in a way nothing else in his life ever has. Every night since, the two had wordlessly gotten into bed together, L no longer bothering with the pretense of starting the night in his chair only to accidentally fall asleep while working in bed. They fell asleep apart and every single morning woke up together, each position feeling more intimate than the next. The last three mornings Light had woken up with his body completely curled around his friend’s. Not a word was exchanged between the two of them about this.

There was a moment the night before that had felt different – perhaps a violation of their unspoken agreement. L had slipped one of his legs between Light’s and draped his arm around Light’s waist. His eyes had been closed but Light was not sure that the detective was asleep. And regardless of whether or not he had been conscious in that moment, Light certainly was when he gently turned L over. He was perfectly lucid, several moments later, when he kissed the back of his neck. 

The kiss lingers at the forefront of Light’s mind as he waits for L to roll out of bed. Each other morning he had been able to justify as some type of strategy – a game of chicken between two people trying to outmaneuver one another. The two men were constantly matching wits, and it didn’t feel like the greatest leap of logic that this last week had been some new battle of wills. 

But he hadn’t been sure that L was awake when he kissed the back of his neck. Who was it for? It was a move made outside the parameters of the game, and he knew that. The game itself was shifting now. Did Light want to prove his innocence to L out of pure survival instinct, or for some other reason? Lately the competition itself was beginning to feel like a ruse, a way to allow Light to make sense of how much he cared about what this man thought. 

The physical nature of the situation, unfortunately, was less unclear. Light understood fully where things lie in this regard. It had been more than seven days since their fight and this notion that the sensations he felt in response to L’s body were related to that altercation, was patently ridiculous. Another new part of Light’s morning routine was allowing 3-4 minutes to pass before he was in a state where he could walk downstairs. It was terribly inconvenient. 

\--

L’s eyes open to a familiar pressure around his shoulders, his hips, the back of his thighs. He focuses all of his energy into keeping himself from shivering with pleasure from it. He thinks that Light is already aware of the effectiveness of this move – he’s woken him up the same way for the last three days. 

It had started as a way to keep up with Light. If this physical intimacy was the newest grounds of the battlefield, L was not going to let Light get the upper hand. _He who strikes first, wins._ If seduction were on the table, let him be the first to climb into bed with the enemy. That was what he told himself when he made the decision to sleep next to Light for the second night in a row. 

But who was winning this war? There were no bedside Kira confessions, no glimpses into Light’s psyche that L was able to use to move the case forward. And more alarming than that, L was beginning to realize he didn’t care. He did not fall asleep thinking about Light and Misa Amane’s actions before their confinement. He didn’t even fall asleep thinking about Higuchi and the men of the Yatsuba Group. He fell asleep wondering how Light’s touch would feel in the morning. Last night he had dreamed that he had initiated contact before falling asleep and that Light had kissed him tenderly on the neck – at least he hoped it was a dream. He could not afford the brain space to interrogate what that all would mean if it had actually taken place.

For the first time in his life, L found himself desperate to be proven wrong.

_Let this end with Higuchi. Let him be the one true Kira. Let Light Yagami be innocent._

He said this to himself, over and over again, as he waited 3-4 minutes before standing up to leave the room, the blood rushing to his cheeks as it had every morning this week.


	3. A Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light close in on Higuchi of the Yotsuba Group. Thoughts that they had kept at bay for the last two weeks dare to peek out from under the surface as it seems less and less likely that Light is Kira. 
> 
> A sudden discovery is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Thank you everyone for reading! 
> 
> This chapter is a little bit of a departure as it mostly looks at actual events/interactions from the story and places them in this new context. But I tried to keep the momentum of L and Light's current situation moving forward!

L looks at the screen playing Misa Amane’s lipstick commercial. He is at his most infinitely strange when allowing himself to get transfixed by a screen. Light smiles. He is an oddity. Misa licks her lips sensually in the commercial. L, still in his trance, follows suit.

_Oh god._

Light feels a familiar sensation when watching the young detective lick his lips and quietly begs with the great gods of the commercial industry to turn this ad off. If he watches L mimic any more explicit content, there could be a situation on his hands – or in his Chino’s, rather. The commercial ends and Light lets out a tight sigh of relief. That is, until he realizes L has started to hungrily peel back a banana peel.

_If I watch him eat a banana right now I am going to explode._

‘UHHHH Riyuzaki, the commercial is over,’ Light sputters, desperate to keep L focused on work and avoiding any kind of activity that could accidentally arouse him. Light realizes with alarm that this increasingly means avoiding nearly every activity imaginable.

_If I can’t handle him eating a snack, I need to reevaluate my situation._

\--

‘Well, what do you say, Light? Time for us to get in on the action?’

L blushes as soon as the words leave his lips. He couldn’t help himself with a small double entendre. He still has enough clarity of thought not to completely free Light – there is simply too much information that points to him being the original Kira, and there are so many gaps in logic that he still needs filled. But all current evidence points to three things that L cannot deny:

  1. Higuchi is Kira and is the reason for the latest killing spree.
  2. Light genuinely has nothing to do with the latest killings, nor does he remember any killings before that.
  3. A helicopter ride alone with Light is a prospect that at the moment feels nearly as thrilling as catching Kira himself.



\--

Light smiles, despite himself. A moment alone with L, right as hard proof was pouring in that he wasn’t Kira. He tries not to get ahead of himself, but he’s always been a quick thinker, and the fantasies are solidifying in his brain faster than he can defend against them.

\---

L quiets his thoughts as he deftly maneuvers the helicopter. He checks in with Chief Yagami over his headset and is grateful for the distraction. He is still working the case. There is a killer who has not yet been apprehended. The muscle definition in Light’s neck underneath his collar can wait an hour. At the very least it can wait 30 minutes. L deduces that there is a 60% chance he can make it another 20 minutes without melting into him completely. 

‘Wow, you taught yourself how to fly a helicopter? You really are _incredible_ , Riyuzaki.’

L recalculates – at this rate he will not make it another 10 minutes without jumping Light Yagami in this very helicopter. 

Luckily the case beckons louder. L clears his mind and focuses once more, taking into account the gravity of the situation they’re flying into. He quickly assesses that him and Light won’t be completely out of harm’s way from their current distance and reaches down to grab a glock for Light’s protection.

‘Here, you might need this.’

‘No thank you, in Japan you’re not allowed to carry a firearm. I’ll be OK.’

L lets a tiny smile escape at the young man’s earnestness, and his conviction in the face of certain danger.

‘Sounds like something your father might say.’

He sees Light smile coyly back. L suddenly feels a tiny bout of nausea.

_Please, not this. Sexual attraction and physical chemistry have been easy to excuse due to the way it has positively affected my energy, without influencing my neutrality in this case. I cannot afford to feel genuine affection for Light Yagami._

He bites on his finger as he realizes that in this regard, he has already lost.

\---

A Shinigami. L can’t believe it. Everything else leaves his mind as he stares over at the grey and purple being standing in the middle of the street – so brazen, yet so mundane, almost as if to suggest there was nothing strange at all about their presence on this night. He tries to recalibrate the case in his head while incorporating this new knowledge. What could the notebook, and its attached Shinigami, imply? How did it fit into his previous theories? Could the Shinigami have worked with the second Kira? Could the Shinigami have –

He looks over as Light grabs the notebook from him, curiosity present in his eyes. L watches as a scream of terror rips through Light’s entire body. He feels a vibrational shift move throughout the helicopter. When he searches Light’s eyes as he regains his breath, he finds only darkness. The tenderness, curiosity and even obstinacy that he’d seen so often over the last several weeks was gone. L finds his own breath in time to whisper a question:

‘Are you OK, Light? I suppose seeing a monster like that would startle anyone…’

The question itself is a farce. L never took his eyes off Light and knows that his eyes barely touched on the Shinigami. The question is all that he can muster to cover up his horror, his disappointment, and his debilitating hurt. He whispers the question as he readies his mind to continue the game. He’s never been good at showing affection, never been able to reciprocate love and desire and if he had continued on his current trajectory he would’ve found himself floundering out of his league. But this – steeling himself to outmaneuver an opponent – this was what he was best at. Love was a game for different men. This was his game.

And though L did not know what happened when Light touched the notebook, he finally has his answer to the hardest case he’s ever worked in his life.

Light Yagami is Kira. 


	4. Can't Stand the Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the rain pours down on L, he cannot help but reckon with his true feelings for Light Yagami. His heart breaks for the current state of their relationship and even so - there's one more question he needs answered by his friend/rival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably my favorite chapter to write! I had a lot of fun writing a little Matsu scene and will probably have to devote a whole fic to him now, I enjoyed it so much. And of course it was exciting to write this particular L/Light scene. NSFW so read with caution :)

The rain drips down L’s hair, his face, his body so forcefully he cannot feel it anymore. He hears the bells and asks not who they toll for – he knows the answer. Of all the things he could never forgive Light for, having the audacity to approach him on this rooftop and ask what’s wrong…this was one of the worst. He is determined to keep his resolve. He would not show his hand, not to someone so callous.

He glances over at Light and feels his resolve crack. He is hurt by his presence now. He stands across from him, soaked from head to toe, glistening in his physical perfection that even now, takes L’s breath away.

He quips about his own strangeness, Light volleys back with an agreement about the oddness of L. None of it is real; none of it means anything.

_It was not enough to kill me, he needed to break my heart to win._

‘I suppose I know that better than anyone.’

_Of course you do._

‘I would say that’s a fair assessment. But I could say the same about you.’ 

_Leave it at that. Do not ask him anything. He cannot give you anything now. Leave him alone._

‘Tell me, Light. From the moment you were born, has there ever been a point where you actually told the truth?’

L feels hot all over his body as he gasps out this question despite himself. He is nearly shaking with the vulnerability of it. Him, the world’s greatest detective, the one who had figured out Kira’s secrets despite the decks being stacked against him by a literal god of death, out on this roof being laid bare by this cruel young man. This cruel young man that was the only person he had ever cared for. He hated him. He hated that he loved him. He wanted so urgently to keep that question locked inside but it bursts out of him. 

_Just tell me why you are like this. And why you had to be like this with me._

He sees Light stagger back with the weight of the question. He knows he’s affected him – he knows that he’s the only one in the world with the ability to do so.

_Come back to me now and we can move on._

But the moment passes. Light’s answer is calculated and precise. A carefully crafted musing on the limitations of human honesty – he is in perfect lockstep with Kira, the alter ego that has completely devoured him.

_He’s gone._

‘I had a feeling you’d say something like that.’

It was L’s last attempt to bring him back and it failed. Another battle, lost. 

‘Let’s go back inside and dry off.’

\--

‘It will be lonely, won’t it?’

And here it is. Though mere moments earlier L had confronted Light about his serial aversion to the truth, L looks up at the terrifying genius two steps above him and finds himself speaking from a place of honesty for the first time in _his_ life. He doesn’t ask him about the loneliness as a manipulation, hoping for an answer that unmasks Kira, or brings back the old Light. He knows Light is Kira and he knows that he is well beyond saving. He asks about the loneliness because he honestly wants to know. 

‘You and I will be parting ways soon.’

For one second, he sees the tone shift in Light’s eyes. He hadn’t been seeking out the tenderness that existed before the helicopter ride, but for just one second, he found it. He catches his breath, gently places Light’s foot that he'd been methodically massaging on the floor, and sets down his hand towel.

  
There is one more thing he needs to know. 

L slams his palms down on the steps on either side of Light and kisses him, desperately, on the mouth.

Light takes no time at all to return the kiss, one hand burrowing deep into L’s thick disheveled hair within a second of impact. With his other hand he grabs him around his waist – despite all the sweets Watari could possibly prepare, he can still trace the detective’s hip bone with his fingers. He aches for it. 

\--back at Task Force HQ –

Matsuda’s focus is entirely on his potato chips when, barely paying attention, he turns back to the surveillance camera for an obligatory glance to make sure everything is as it should be. He drops his chip clean out of the air in front of his open mouth as he becomes aware of what he is watching – L and Light, clawing at each other, lifting each other’s shirts and wrapping their legs around one another in the stairway leading in from the rooftop. 

‘What the--!”

Matsuda regrets the words as soon as he says them. Chief Yagami and Aizawa charge into the room, looking concerned.

‘What is it, Matsuda?'

‘Is it the case? What have you found?’

‘Ummmm…’

Matusda stutters, as he slides himself nonchalantly in front of the surveillance footage from the rooftop staircase to block the view. His eyes dart around as he thinks quickly – hardly the man’s forte.

‘It’s Watari! I just got word that… he needs heart medication!’

The detectives lower their eyes at Matsuda.

‘Matsuda what in the world are you talking –’

Matsuda furrows his brow and summons a not often seen confidence.

‘I can’t believe you guys would just leave Watari hanging like that! I’ll stay here and man the surveillance, you go get his medication! Or I’m going to tell Riyuzaki that you’re sabotaging the case!’

The other detectives immediately retreat.

‘Calm down, Matsuda. No one wants that.’

‘I don’t understand why YOU can’t go get the heart medicine –’

‘GET OUT OF HERE!’

Matsuda yells. Everyone else shuffles out of the room, glaring at Matsuda on their way out. Matsuda glares back, hiding the fact that he’s shaking slightly – he’s not used to confronting the other detectives like that, least of all the chief. He takes a deep breath and sits back down.

‘Now, where was I?’

Matsuda grabs another potato chip out of the bag and resumes his viewing position, smiling slightly in awe.

“Light and Riyuzaki…I woulda said Chief Yagami being Kira is more likely than this!’

\--back at the staircase—

Light pushes L against the wall. He reaches in front of him and unbuckles the button of L’s trademark baggy jeans. L reaches behind him and does the same to Light’s pants – his fingers moving gently and gingerly, the way he handles everything from a cell phone to a macaroon. Light and L both grunt softly as Light enters him from behind. He closes his eyes as he thrusts forward. His hands are on L's chest, his waist, his hips - he wants to feel every inch of him. L’s eyes remain wide open, not wanting to miss even a second of this moment in time. One of his last. He breathes loudly.

Light’s hand wanders up L’s small frame until it’s close to his throat. L takes the hand in his and moves it to his lips – He nibbles on Light’s index finger before sucking on it gently. Light moans loudly. L is driven nearly to frenzy by the sound - that moan of pleasure more intoxicating than anything he's ever experienced. He slowly turns around, biting his lip. Light meets his eyes – L looks hungry. He grabs Light by the wrist and pulls him in front, kissing him messily as he passes, until he is facing the wall. He looks at Light hesitantly, who nods. L holds him close around the waist as he gently puts himself inside of Light. Then he thrusts forward powerfully. Light’s fingers curl along the wall.

‘Ri--RiyuZAki!’ he shouts. He’s smiling, gasping for air, barely containing his pleasure and his surprise. L is still holding him close and whispers in his ear, ‘I’ve told you before, I’m stronger than I look.’

Light puts a hand over L’s hand on his hip. The two move as one. L gently nibbles on Light’s shoulder as he gets closer and closer to finishing. Light opens his eyes and the smile falters on his face for just a moment.

_I know I cannot stop Rem from killing him. I just want this one last moment with him before I become God of the new world._

L’s eyes have been open this entire time, but briefly flutter shut. 

_I know he will not stop the Shinigami from killing me. I just want this one last moment with him before I leave this world._

They finish in unison.

L’s phone rings. He gathers up his pants and gently removes the cell phone from his pocket. Light scurries to get dressed behind him and hears L answer the phone. 

'Yes. I understand. I'm on my way.' 


	5. Can't Hit The Floor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment Light's been waiting for is upon him and it feels nothing like how he once hoped it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short and sad little chapter. Posting ending tomorrow!

As soon as he hears the break in L’s voice, Light dives forward to catch him. He made the sacrifice he had to make – L’s death was necessary for the next step, for the new world, for the future he had worked so hard to create – but for some reason he could not bear the thought of that brilliant and misunderstood head hitting the ground. If he had to die – and he did – he should at least die in Light’s arms.

Light looks at L and watches life leave his eyes. He forces himself to smile. He has to move on from this loss – a loss that by all logical reason, was in fact his greatest win to date. He sees L clock his smile in his last moments and isn’t sure whether he’s breaking his heart or bringing him peace. Despite himself, he hopes it’s the latter. He channels his thoughts into his smile as he stares down at his friend:

_You were right all along. You can leave me knowing you were right._

He allows himself one second of mourning. He remembers L’s touch, his lips, his urgency and his brilliance for one second. He lets his sadness permeate every inch of his body because he knows he cannot allow himself to revisit this sensation ever again. If he’s going to become a God he has to relinquish his heart. One second and he moves on – the game resumes.

Light fixes his face and steadies his breath, ready to scream for the benefit of the other members of the task force.


	6. Last Thing He Sees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The New World is crumbling and its God is crumbling with it. As Light careens towards imminent destruction, he tries to stop himself from thinking about the one person who changed everything for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. Like I said, hardly a happy ending! But that last image from the anime hit me so hard when I first watched and was in many ways the inspiration for this whole fic. Thank you so much to everyone who has read and provided those sweet little kudos, like I said I'm brand new at this so it means so much to me! Drop me a comment with any feedback/thoughts! <3

Light stares at Matsuda. 

_Matsuda you know that this is right. You know the God that I have become, and you know that Kira has brought goodness to this world in a way that no one else could!_

He pleads with this simple man with his eyes, with his breath, with everything in him. Everything is spinning. Why does this feel so painful? Why is everything crashing down on him when he has done everything correctly? He did this for the world, and somehow the world has deemed it appropriate to punish him?? What justice is this? He is filled with anger and panic and confusion and something else. There is something else, but he cannot access it, cannot bring it to the surface. 

‘I just want to know why, Light. Why did you do this? And your father… the chief… how could you do this to him!?’

Matsuda is in tears as he tries to wrap his head around Light’s villainy. His face is pained when suddenly an even darker cloud passes over his boyish features. Light sees Matsuda come to a realization – a memory.

‘Oh, Light…how could you do this to Ryuz—’

_STOP HIM._

‘My father? Oh, you mean Soichiro Yagami?!’

Light desperately plunges into a monologue about his father. He will not allow himself to hear what Matsuda was about to say. He cannot go to that place. He will not go to that place. He has made peace with his father’s death and his legacy – he rid the world of criminals in a way that his father could only have dreamed of – and he focuses his entire will on justifying that. He can keep his mind and body afloat discussing Soichiro Yagami. But if he addresses Matsuda’s second realization, he will be finished.

Matsuda shoots Light three times.

Light falls to the floor, screaming. He is bleeding profusely. He wracks his brain for comfort, for support, for compassion – he thinks of Misa and calls out her name. He thinks of Takada and calls out her name. He can feel another name pulling at him from beyond, but he still cannot reach out for it. He is not ready. His mind and his body are held up through the strength of his conviction, his total dedication to his creation. That name will bring him weakness. 

Light picks himself up, screaming once more, and throws himself towards the door, out of the warehouse. The name is haunting him now, a name he had only learned after becoming a God. He does not know how much longer he can avoid the memory, how much strength he has to keep the thoughts at bay. He runs through his pain.

He tries to think of a time when his life was peaceful. Before he was Kira. But he can only remember boredom. He can only remember staleness, a great want that wasn’t being fulfilled. He did not become Kira to change the world – he became Kira to fill the void. And the void had been filled – but only once. And it wasn’t from the killing.

He runs faster, still not sure he’s ready. Finally, he hears it.

The voice of Ryuk.

It’s just in time. The proclamation Light knew was coming. He had tried to outrun it but as that one name keeps beckoning him, welcoming him to let his guard down, he realizes that Ryuk’s voice is the greatest comfort in the world. He lowers himself down on the steps of a church. He waits until he hears the all too familiar tenor of pen hitting paper. Forty seconds left.

He sets his mind free.

And all of a sudden, there he is, standing before him. He sees his hands before anything else – his gentle, nimble fingers peeking out of his jeans pockets. His impossibly slender hips nearly hidden under his white shirt. Light raises his eyes to his face – great big eyes that never saw enough sleep, and the softest lips Light had ever seen. He looks exactly how Light remembered – beautiful and full of pain. Smarter and greater even than him. 

Light realizes these will be the last 10 seconds of his life. And it is the most grateful he has ever been. Light Yagami used the death note and used it more prolifically than any other human being to date – there is no chance of him going to heaven or hell. But to end his life with L Lawliet in front of him would be enough.

He hears the bells.

_L, you were everything to me._

Five seconds.

_You, Light, were everything to me._

He closes his eyes.

END.


End file.
